The A Cuppa Keurig fraternity

OK, former co-worker, bestie, graphic designer extraordinaire and new FACEBOOK Friend BRIAN J. MASLAR is raving about his can't-live-without KEURIG Premium Coffee System.

The concept: ONE perfect cup of coffee, ONE cup at a time. All kindza frou-frou flavors: Raspberry Chocolate Truffle, Newman's Own Organic, Dark Magic (does ANYONE make plain ol' regular Joe anymore?). Ooooh, and you can join the Coffee Club Rewards Program!

So try it, and if it tastes like ass, don't bitch to me, call Brian.
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Bartlett Pairs with Online

Get it? Barlett...pears...oh never mind...

The most fabulicious men's designer in the whole world, John Bartlett, now has an etail site...hooray! It's where I'm doin' all my last-minute gift shopping. You can visit in person, too...143 7th Avenue, NYC, holiday hours Mon-Wed 12-7, Thurs-Sat 12-8, Sun 12-6. Buy a Tiny Tim t-shirt and support the North Shore Animal League.

John's had a banner year. Named November's Featured Designer by the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA), Mr. Bartlett was also made creative director of "Claiborne by John Bartlett," a men's collection (co-produced with Liz Clairborne) set to debut Spring 2009.

I pulled the above photo from his catalog because I dig...scarves...yeah.
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Just can't get enough

OMG look in the mirror. You're so FAT. When you wear black, you're outer space. Better start eating Quaker Quakes. Like I do. By the truckload.

We tend to overindulge at the table this time of year. Quakes help with portion control. Tasty rice snacks, only 70 calories per serving, and 0% saturated or trans. Cheddar cheese, the best flavor of the lot. Sooooo good.
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Comics With Class

I collected Marvel Comics in my teens...great to see they're finally getting their due in Hollywood, albeit with hit-and-miss results; thumbs up to Iron Man, down to both Hulks and that soulfire-less Ghost Rider (how DOES Nick Cage keep getting work? After Raising Arizona and Moonstruck, utterly ignorable. Sorry, being related to F.F. Coppola only carries so much juice).

If Class Comics were around in the 70s, I'm sure my mother wouldn't allow them in the house. XXX-rated with a supernatural/sci-fi stripe, these graphic novellas first made the scene in 1995. Canadian-owned and operated by artist Patrick Fillion and Robert Fraser, Class Comics titles have penetrated the U.S. market, as well as France and Germany via European publishers Bruno Gmunder and H&O Editions.

Just starting to absorb the characters and storylines; got my first taste via a video on XTube. Loving the hyper-realism and take-offs on traditional heroes and their powers. Hide these books under the mattress unless you're over 21 and living in South Beach or WeHo. Issues, t-shirts, mugs, calendars on sale here, making your Yuletide gayer.
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Aqua, Man

What's a holiday season without naked men?

Forget the ha-ha-ho-hum crackly burning fireplace or goldfish screensaver/DVD this Festivus. Boyfish. Boyfish. BOYFISH. Nude guys frolicking underwater in some Atlantis-inspired fantasy-scape of coral and castles. Not porn, just dudes who feel overdressed in Speedos. MICHAEL PHELPS, can we count on you for the sequel? Instead of doing those dumbass Rosetta Stone commercials (and it's cheye-KNEES, not cheye-NIECE). Christ.
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Massage waiting

(photo courtesy of JoeMyGod.blogspot.com) I hit NICKEL (nih-KEL) MEN'S SPA at least once every few months for a shiatsu...just the thing for my lower back spasms and residual aches from a 12-year-old chiropractic fiasco (choose physical therapy over chiro every time...and NEVER, EVER see a sadist masquerading as a doctor, Jeffrey Kornblut, at Milford Chiropractic in Milford, CT).

This is a full-service spa inhabiting a former bank. They offer haircuts, but the chairs are always empty when I'm there. Can't swing a purse without hitting a display of bath and beauty products...Nickel moisturizer, eye-bag eliminator, hair gel, shampoo, shaving supplies. Popular with mani-and-pedi-philes.

The front desk staff are all extras from 1978's Coma (Genevieve Bujold at her paranoid finest). So speak clearly and slowly when making appointments. Ask for top masseur OLEG. Need any cracks waxed? EDWARD'S your man.

Nickel's...the perfect antidote to ECE (Evil Christmas Energy). Gift baskets and certificates for the nice 'n naughty boyz on yer list. 15% off on a la carte services before 4pm.

Nickel Spa For Men
SW corner of Eighth Avenue and 14th Street, NYC
212-242-3203
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H is for hats

Shuffling to the subway after work this evening, the relentless east wind roiling off the Hudson assaulted me like a frozen machete. Usually under- or overdressed, today I got it right...top coat, scarf, and my aviator cap from Gallerie H on Eighth and 21st.

Black leather shell, faux-fur lining, flaps for the ears, this is the headgear I bust out when my aforementioned Gap cap can't cut the winter weather. Just snapped this pic of their window. Lotsa Ben Sherman merch, travel bags, and seasonal chapeaus (from porkpies to Panamas). Sorry, their lame website is just a placeholder.

Gallerie H
222 Eighth Avenue (btw. 21st and 22nd)
NYC 212-229-1975
info@GallerieH.com
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Porn (almost) free

This Sunday, 2-5pm, at progeriatric gay Village piano bar The Monster, The New York City Gay Men's Chorus will hold its 9th Annual Porn Again fundraiser.

Major gay porn film producers and publishers donate stacks of DVDs and books, NYCGMC slashes the retail price tags and gets to keep all the profits. My neighbor-pal Michael Lucas came through with a guest MC (after 2 other studios cancelled)...Ryan Raz, pictured, a Lucas Entertainment exclusive.

Best chest and buns contest, a P-Town Weekend raffle...all for only a $10 entrance fee. Go. Shop. Buy. Ejaculate. Support our sisters in song.
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Where you be, Division E?

Bought a sooper-comfy (and flattering) long-sleeved lightweight pullover at The Starting Line in Chelsea a few years ago (akin to the purple-swirled, pictured).

Allow me to rhapsodize. Black with a micro-thin wale. The outline of an ornate Buddha with thangka-like clouds adorn the chest and back; Siddharta in taupe silkscreen, the thunderheads an alternating metallic silver-gold decal. The shirt is sewn together ingeniously with separate pieces recess-cuffed in the biceps, sleeves, neck, and waist, conveying an overall edgy, tailored look.

The antiqued-tattered label? Los Angeles' Division E. Their site's been under construction for awhile, and Starting Line no longer carries this great clothier. Available through a mess of online retailers, but can't find a physical storefront. Purportedly worn by "rock stars and celebrities." And lil ol' me.

Anybody out there know where I can find in NYC?
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Cambridge, Massachusetts' Crabtree & Evelyn. Since 1973, renowned for its naturally inspired remedies and home comforts. The name: inspired by the renaissance Englishman, John Evelyn, who lived in the 17th century. Evelyn is most famous for Sylva, the first important work on conservation, published at a time when England's forests were being stripped of timber to build ships for the expanding British Navy. His great estate, Sayes Court, was planted with large expanses of elm trees, and the magnificent gardens he created were a wonder of the age. The symbol: the Crabtree or Wild Apple is native to Britain and the ancestor of all cultivated apple trees. It was highly prized for its beauty as well as its usefulness in home apothecary.

I first encountered a C & E product while on a business trip to San Francisco. Stayed at the delicious Nikko Hotel (pool on the roof, right down the street from The Clift), whose bathrooms were stocked with Crabtree & Evelyn La Source body products. Top of the list: the Relaxing Body Lotion. Infused with sweet almond oil, soothing camomile and borage oil. Heaven-scented with lavender, mint and herbs. Filled up my suitcase, bought more here when I got back to NYC.
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Risko Bookness

Forget about those half-naked-athlete-thinly-veiled-porno coffee table tomes this season. Go with a tasteful classic that should be displayed in your library year-round.

"Risko" is a compilation of works from famed illustrator, caricaturist (and my neighbor) Robert Risko. Edited by Allure contributing editor and "Mississippi Sissy" author Kevin Sessums, with a forward by Vanity Fair editor and Monkey Bar owner Graydon Carter. Risko's celebrity cartoons are instantly recognizable to anyone who's read a Vanity Fair, New Yorker or Interview magazine over the past 30 years (this J. Edgar Hoover send-up had a cameo in the movie "Friends And Family"). His pop sensibility casts a geometrically minimalist eye on the worlds of fashion, theatre, music and film.

So what are you waiting for? Click already...and if you see him around Chelsea walking his Boxer, Ralph, ask for an autograph...
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Capo di Gap-oh!

The Gap Knit Cap. Bought one of these eons ago, and it's still my utilitarean accessory of choice. One size fits all works for me, cuz my hu-normous head borders on Talosian. Perfect for sleeping on draughty nights. Keep it on as you roll out of bed, take out the trash and get a coffee. Even in the summer. Why wash your hair? Don the hat. Just showered? Go ahead, wear it...it miraculously negates hat-head. Durable as hell. All this for $19.95. Please DON'T purchase that ubiquitous cadet cap...unless you're ambling down the road with your nose buried in Mao's Little Red Book.

Gap is my default clothing shop, even though the quality and variety fluctuate...it's literally one block from my nothing-like-anything-on-MTV crib. Still has the best underpanties. HATE those big plastic cheap-looking buttons on all the coats, chinos and shirts. J'adore the reinvented Converse sneaker line...buy duplicate pairs in every color, they disintegrate fast on the sidewalks of Manny-Hanny.
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Hydroxy-What?

"Hydroxycut® is America's #1-selling weight loss supplement and is a brand name sold in over 70 countries around the world." So say its website and that doctor-dude commercial that's on cable every 1/2-hour. I dunno, never tried it. Guinea pigs and devotees, here ya go, lemme know...caffeine coronary victims, this link's for you...

Off the shelf? Out of stock? Amazon, baby.

Why do my most cherished bath and beauty products vanish from the supermarket and pharmacy shelves, never to reappear? WOODEN q-tips...not those cottony sticks that behave like wet noodles when you try to clean your ears (especially with a little alcohol on them), but sturdy wooden swabs...a few years back, completely evaporated from the retail landscape.

And St. Ives...remember that great blue mud mask they stocked ages ago? Gone. Fabulously scented chamomile shampoo? On the endangered species list. Alpha hydroxy facial cleanser? Extinct.

To find these rare artifacts of yore, you'll have to take a little web-surf up the Amazon.com. And thank heavens for them...found my beloved hydroxy scrub, plus dozens of gotta-haves for the medicine cabinet.

Simply Silver

It's not just for breakfast anymore.

"Men's jewelry" may not be synonymous with Tiffany's, but I own a few pieces from this legendary brand.

Inexpensive, elegant, classic, masculine, this Cushion Ring is only $175, available online, and makes a perfect selfish gift any time of year.

More than a century ago, Tiffany & Co. established the United States standard (held firmly to this day) for sterling silver, guaranteed to be 92.5% pure.


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And for dessert, a Sonen shirt...

Last year I dated a Colombian/Lebanese waiter with the smoking-est ass on the West Side, made more so by the just-right-tight black slacks that were part of his work ensemble.

Well, the waiter has since checked out of my bed-life, but he did leave 2 absolutely magnificent shirts behind, from underpublicized Latin designer Jon Sonen. Stiff yet supple multi-ply 100% "algodon" (cotton), high-collared (j'adore collars, I have a long neck), 3-button "shotgun" cuffs on the sleeves. A chic interpretation of the classic cowboy camisa, complete with back-to-chest saddle-stitched yokes.

Here's a lil' sumptin-sumptin from this year's Fashion Week in Mexico:



Couldn't find any U.S. retailers on his website, but you CAN order online. Buenas suertes! Y gracias, Boris!
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Phone Homo

T-Mobile USA, Inc. today announced the national availability of the highly anticipated T-Mobile G1 with Google, the first Android™-powered mobile phone. The T-Mobile G1 combines full touch-screen functionality and a QWERTY keyboard with a rich mobile Web experience, dozens of Android Market applications, and popular Google products that millions have enjoyed on the desktop, including Google Maps Street View™, Gmail™, YouTube™ and others.

Beginning today, consumers can purchase the phone in select retail stores across the country and online here.


“During the past month, we’ve seen unbridled excitement for the T-Mobile G1 and the positive impact it will have on the mobile lives of our customers,” said Denny Marie Post, chief marketing officer, T-Mobile USA. “In fact, among those T-Mobile customers who have pre-ordered the phone, roughly half have traded up from a basic handset, illustrating the leap many consumers are taking to a rich, accessible mobile Web experience. Its design, functionality and value make the first-of-its-kind T-Mobile G1 a truly approachable device for the masses.”

With a fun and intuitive user interface and one-touch access to Google Search, the T-Mobile G1 is the first phone to offer access to Android Market, which hosts unique applications and mashups of existing and new services from developers around the world. Customers can find and download a wide range of innovative applications—from games to social networking and on-the-go shopping—to personalize their phone and enhance their mobile lifestyle. Even better, for a limited time, the dozens of applications available on Android Market are available free-of-charge for T-Mobile G1 users.

“With new, high-value applications constantly being added to Android Market for customers to discover, the T-Mobile G1 is the phone that grows with you,” said Post. “And as the Market continues to grow and evolve, the possibilities are virtually endless.”

Customers can purchase and carry away the T-Mobile G1 at T-Mobile retail stores and select third-party stores in major cities where T-Mobile’s 3G service is currently available. T-Mobile 3G service is currently available in 95 major cities across top population centers.
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